2010: new year's resolution

2010 - the future has arrived! new decade, right? 2010 to 2019? or 2011 to 2020? results from google news says it's up to you when to celebrate/declare. well, i declare it to be the decade of the 10s.
'tis my graduation year after all.

today is january 3rd and i have just begun reflecting and criticizing (not always constructive) the events and changes of 2009.
i will begin to enumerate my resolutions for this new year and try to live up to them.
ahem..

measurable:
- be more studious. this is imperative for my grad school prospects!
- have more self-control. general enough to apply to my many vices..

non-measurable:
- have a stronger heart + mind
- go back inside. to the subconscious.

flutter//glitch

my screen yellows, ages as i type out the smooth keys on my laptop of three and a half years. over its lifetime, i have lived many lifetimes. vicariously. remotely.
i am a construct of my experiences, imagined and real. sense sense. also, unknowingly, i am a construct of a different sort in others' minds.
in my mind is where i will live. reflected selves all around. repeat. recover. release.
but right now i am living in my heart. it is anxious. it bothers me. the type of discomfort a splinter in your finger would bring. one that embeds itself.

clark - herr bar from fink.

a sort of guessing game

Salon: The 7 vices of highly creative people

1. drink

"To be a drinker means, of course, to be social. Sure, it's all right to drink by oneself on occasion. But because the highly creative live so often in the private world of ideas, they also need to mingle with their friends at a good party."

2. smoke

"... as Oscar Wilde once observed, smoking a cigarette is "a perfect pleasure, because they are exquisite and leave one unsatisfied."

3. gamble

"... it's not until the end of life that we truly know what we've won or lost."

4. eat oysters

"The inspiration of this shellfish can be traced throughout the canon of English literature."

5. dress well

"... it's prudent to remember that the highly creative have always known that communication with words is secondary."

6. sexual appetite

"Writer and historian Gore Vidal is quoted famously as stating, "There are no heterosexuals or homosexuals, only homo- or heterosexual acts. Most people are a mixture of impulses."

7. live off credit

"Because most highly creative people never fully enter the work force, nor make a salary sufficient to their needs, credit is a necessity."

.: 4/7 is not so bad

vices, oh vices. irregularities of being or merely bad habits?
I -> defects, weaknesses, over- or under-
//socially curated?
B -> sinful, addiction, corruption
// environmentally caused?

one or the other, or both, we all have them. some are better at hiding theirs than others. or supress them.
i say indulge. in moderation. overall and at the end, averaged to an accepted amount. by one's own standards of course.

- j