2010: new year's resolution

2010 - the future has arrived! new decade, right? 2010 to 2019? or 2011 to 2020? results from google news says it's up to you when to celebrate/declare. well, i declare it to be the decade of the 10s.
'tis my graduation year after all.

today is january 3rd and i have just begun reflecting and criticizing (not always constructive) the events and changes of 2009.
i will begin to enumerate my resolutions for this new year and try to live up to them.
ahem..

measurable:
- be more studious. this is imperative for my grad school prospects!
- have more self-control. general enough to apply to my many vices..

non-measurable:
- have a stronger heart + mind
- go back inside. to the subconscious.

flutter//glitch

my screen yellows, ages as i type out the smooth keys on my laptop of three and a half years. over its lifetime, i have lived many lifetimes. vicariously. remotely.
i am a construct of my experiences, imagined and real. sense sense. also, unknowingly, i am a construct of a different sort in others' minds.
in my mind is where i will live. reflected selves all around. repeat. recover. release.
but right now i am living in my heart. it is anxious. it bothers me. the type of discomfort a splinter in your finger would bring. one that embeds itself.

clark - herr bar from fink.

nomnom

relationships and reciprocation.
a formal quid pro quo? can it even be quantified?
don't tally up the actions and favors. enough with the additions, divisions, and multiplications. drop the 1 and leave the 3.
blur your eyes just a bit. see the negative space. what is in the background illuminates the foreground. creating the edges and shapes.
but one more thing. is it the strength of the core that supports or is it the boundaries that define? perhaps a mix of both. yes.

what is undeclared/implied, outlined/bulleted reveals the hidden unseen.
so close your eyes now. slowly. there.